I Wished For Things...

I remember comparing my relationships at times, to those around me. Relationships of friends, that from the outside, looked perfect. Or at least, had elements I 'thought I needed', that I wasn't getting. I'd say, 'they always travel together' and 'they live together' and 'they are affectionate in public' - rambling into infinity at the deafening ears of my boyfriend - the many things that were so called 'critical' to me. Well, that will win anyone over, right? It can be easy to get caught up in wishing for things, missing things you might not even need, when you are surrounded by others who may look like that have it together. You can convince yourself of your very own wishes and fundamental 'can't live withouts'. But every relationship is very unique, and every relationship from the outside is a different reality that what lies beneath. It's really important to not get swept away in ideaologies that were never yours to begin with...and to know who you are, and who the person is that you are with...meaning - know what you really need, and know what that person is capable of - in the end the rest is frosting, the good stuff that you get - that is 1000 times better and more special because - you did NOT ask for it, and it came from the person you love - out of their own desire. Maybe there is a difference between wanting and needing, maybe there is a tendency we all have innately to compare, but at the end of the day, know what you're buying. And don't be greedy.

I wished for things that I don’t need,

All I wanted

And what I chase won’t set me free.

-Goo Goo Dolls